E3 Predictions

e3With just a few days until E3, every game blog has to do an “E3 Predictions” post…i think it’s the law or something. So here’s mine:

1) Konami, Ubisoft and EA will do something that will literally not be as bad than if they had just  took a massive shit on you.

2) We’ll be flooded by prerendered trailers that tell us literally nothing about the game it’s advertising.

3) we will get 1, and only 1, extensive gameplay trailer that will get the whole of the gaming community excited only to be visually downgreaded by the time it’s released and not live up to the hype.

4) Either Microsoft or Sony (most likely Microsoft) will pull some more anti-consumer bullshit only to retract a few days post event.

5) the other company will make a point of saying “we’re not doing that”

6) gamers all around the world will act like the other company is a hero for not treating their costumers like thieves, although all they really did was something they should already be doing.

7) we will see the exact same types of games we’ve come to expect to see at E3, even though the success of the Yooka Laylee and Bloodstained kickstarted should have proven that gamers want games and experiences that the industry isn’t providing anymore.

8) the words “innovative” and “cinematic” will be used not stop in at lest one conference  and the finished game will be neither.

9) White Male Protagonist Everywhere. If we’re lucky one game will have a prominent person of color or a woman as side characters.

10) gamers will forget that this is a trade show, not an expo, meant for company’s to show their shareholders how the company plains to make them money while using gamers ignorance to generate free publicity.

11) Making the expo open to the public this year will do what it was meant to: flood online discussions by halfwits who can’t help but get swept up in the hype machine generating even more free press while drowning out the voices of critical journalist who may be able to bring main stream attention to issues these games may have before 100 million copies are presold before anyone has actually seen anything noteworthy about the game.

12) the few times the press get an exclusive look at something the public will whine because they will have seem to have forgotten that game journalist do this for a living and this is work, not a goddamn vacation and when a journalist says this it will be greeted by a choir of “you play games for a living, it’s not like you do any real work” and this will be used by crappy developers and crappy publishers to further drown out critical or down right negative talking points about their games.

13) More Fallout 4 will be shown and it will be the only game to live p to the hype.


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