Horror Month Review: Killer Mermaid

Director: Milan Todorovic
Screenplay By: Barry Keating, Milan Konjevic
Release Date: May 1, 2014
Run Time: 94 Minuets
Rating: NA
Score: 3/5

I saw this on Netflix with a “our best guess” score of 1/5 and for the life of me I can’t tell you why. Sure the movie has a lot of flaws, but I sat through the entire thing and enjoyed every minute of it. I went in thinking this would at lest be “so bad it’s good”, but in the end, I really did just unironicly enjoy the film. It’s not great, but if you got 90 minuets to spare, it’s worth a look.
This flm is about these two women, Kelly and Lucy (played by Kristina Klebe and Natalie Burn respectively) who have traveled from America to…i think Greece, but I don’t remember the movie ever specifying…to visit an old collage friend of theirs, Niko (Franco Nero). They are joined by Niko’s fiance (who I don’t remember either the character’s name nor the actress who played her. But the character is given little to do anyways, so you’re not missing much) and “Boban” (Dragan Micanovic), a friend of Nko’s fiance. The group decides to soak up the sights, including an old military submarine tunnel and an old, alcatraz like prison island used by the Nazi’s in World War 2.
While on the island the group see a man who had been stalking them for the last few days dumping human remain into a well. The try to leave and call the cops, but the island has no cell signal and he found and destroyed there boat. As the group tried to hide from the stalker they find that there is a girl in the well, and as you may have guessed, this is the Mermaid of the title. The five split up hoping to avoid the killer and help who they think is a taped woman at the bottom of the well.
Niko and Kelly find a door leading to the girl and try to break the lock, but the killer soon starts making his way towards them. Kelly says that they should leave and come back, but Niko wont hear of it. He in a trance, almost like he’s possessed. Getting to the girl in the water is all that matters to him. Kelly leaves, fearing for her life and Niko gets the door open before the killer arrives, but once he gets in, he isn’t seen again. The rest of the group meets up again, and are slowly caught and killed until only a three remain. The manage to wound the killer, angering the mermaid and forcing her to escape her “captivity” and give chase. The group find another boat, but between the island and the main land there is only open water….
Like a said earlier, I enjoyed the film a lot, but there are a few issues. The biggest issues for me is that the film simply isn’t scary. At all. It’s fun and compulsively watchable, but it has more in common with a summer blockbuster than a horror film in that regard. If this was a horror-comedy like “Tucker and Dale vs Evil” then this wouldn’t have been an issue, but it’s not. If you’re in more of a blockbuster kind of mood rather than a real “horror” mood, that this will be right up your ally, but I was hoping for more scares.
The next issue is with the movies lax understanding of the words “killer” and “mermaid”. While the creature was a being that was half woman and half fish, the film makers were clearly thinking of sirens while making the movie. The mermaid sings a song that calls men to her, then uses her grip on their minds to bring them to there death. Yeah, I hate to tell you this, but Odysseus didn’t tie himself to the mast of his ship to hear the Mermaids sing, because that wasn’t what they were known for. This wouldn’t bather me as much if this was used for some creative kills, but the “killer mermaid” hardly kills anyone. Most of the kills are done by her caretaker, the creepy stalker guy. It’s only really in the last 30 minuets of the film that the creature becomes the main antagonist, an even then she doesn’t do mush actual killing. But the movie does end with a sequel hook that could make an awesome action movie if it ever gets made, so maybe there will get our “killer mermaid” action.
Then there is the acting. Why it is better than most “B Movies”, there are way too many lines that are delivered amateurishly. In one scene near the end some one is calling for help but barley talking above her normal voice. And while watching I was beginning to think that the point of making so many of the characters have an accent was more so people wouldn’t question some bad line deliveries and just think that’s how someone with an accent might say that line.
My last issue with the film is how many sub plots go nowhere. There is a romantic subplot that is never resolved, nor really mentioned after one small arguments between the two friends, the first few times a kill happens there’s this slimy substance on the ground that seems like it’s setting up a warning to the audience to keep a look put for the stuff, but then it’s never mentioned again.
With all that out of the way, let me repeat myself: I really liked this movie. I may have wanted more scares and less “fun”, but I can’t say it wasn’t enjoyable. I enjoyed this basically why I watch “Die Hard” every December, it’s a nice change of pace from the rest of the Holiday themed movies you’ll be watching. I may not have watched it if not for my morbid curiosity for movies with dumb titles and stupid ideas, but the beautiful cinematography (the establishing shots of the locations are simply beautifully well done) and fun game of cat and mouse the main cast plays with the killer make this one worth the time.


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