Horror Month Review: Zombeavers

Director: Jordan Rubin
Screenplay By: Al Kaplan, Jordan Rubin, Jon Kaplan
Release Date: March 20, 2015
Run Time: 85 minuets
Rating: R
Score: 4/5

After last week I really just wanted something a little more fun, and whats more fun than a creature feature? I mean, even though “Killer Mermaid” failed to deliver on the Murderous Sea Women it still managed to be a fun flick when all ways said and done. Luckily for us this weeks movie doesn’t skimp out on it ridiculous premise.
The film starts with two men driving hazards wast down a country road talking, as men do, about the one time they dated a guy or how their friends wont let them crap in their house anymore after they mistook the kitchen table as the toilets. You know, typical guy stuff. As they talk the driver takes his eyes off the road and hits a dear, launching one of the barrels of wast in the near by lake. The credits role by as we watch the barrel slowly and calmly make it’s way down the river until the hits a beaver dam, where it promptly explodes.

Even though the early film is just of the girls, the movie still finds a way to get one of them naked

Even though the early film is just of the girls, the movie still finds a way to get one of them naked

We are then introduced too our three main leads, Marry, Zoe, and Jenn. The three girls are on there way to Mary’s cousins country house for a girls-only weekend. It was going to be for the girls and their boyfriend, but that was changed after Jenn was cheated on. Marry had hoped that a weekend with out the boys would help Jenn get over the break up, but this is little more than a pipe dream as the three boys make their way up to the cabin anyways.
Jenn, hoping to get away from her old boyfriend decides to take a shower, but one of the beavers attack her. The group end up killing it and deciding that it was probably a rabies infection that made it act the way it did. The next day the group goes swimming and one of the boys gets his foot chewed off. They all make it back to the cabin, but it becomes clear that they aren’t dealing with rabies. They manage to trap one of the beavers, the same one they thought they already killed; it’s back was nearly torn off, and even with two knifes stuck in it, pinning it the the kitchen counter it’s still moving.
The group soon decides to split into groups. Three go for help while the other three stay and bored up the cabin. Unfortunately for those who stayed all they have to board up the house with is wood, and zombie beavers are just as good at cutting through the stuff as normal ones are.
And if you’re thinking “how can they be zombie beavers? Don’t zombies turn others into zombies” then you’d be right.

the transformation scene isn't as good as

the transformation scene isn’t as good as “American Werewolf in London”‘s was, but it’ll do.

Each group soon finds that that one of their members has been infected by the beavers and they turn into, I kid you not, mindless were-beaver things that try to kill their friends. Everything that follow just needs to be seen.
This movie was great. Most of the effects were hilariously bad, but purposely so. With an idea as stupid as “zombie beavers” this lets you know right from the start that the movie is going to be fun, but not poorly made. A lot of bad monster movies, like the one made by “The Asylum” suffer from having a stupid concept (like “Sharktopus”) and effects that show that no one working on the movie really cared about making a good film. Here you are meant to laugh at the effects yes, but you’re laughing at a well told joke instead of a comedy of incompetence.
This is reinforced by the acting. Everyone takes their roles seriously enough to give film some wight, but it’s also clear that everyone is having a lot of fun as well. The film is short, fast paced and a hell of a lot of fun. The only real issue I have with the film is one joke near the beginning that I felt was a little tasteless, and the response to it felt a bit out of character, but other than that the movie id pure gold.

Be afraid of the Beaver hand puppet!

Be afraid of the Beaver hand puppet!


7 responses to “Horror Month Review: Zombeavers

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